By Michael Slezak
Updated December 19, 2008 at 09:01 PM EST

I’ve got to hand it to my corporate cousins at They can pack more drama and shocking twists into a headline than you’d find in the opening act of your average network drama. Their recent headline about The Wrestler star Evan Rachel Wood’s romantic prospects (click here for the full story) got me thinking that it’s time we all wrote headlines about our own mundane lives — complete with an unexpected denouement. I’ll go first:

Michael Slezak recommits to diet excellence — right after he finishes cinnamon-raisin bagel with cream cheese!

Your turn.