By Annie Barrett
Updated December 04, 2008 at 12:00 PM EST
Credit: John Parra/WireImage

Because I just totally blew mine, on a charming melee of Twix, Kit Kats, and chocolate turkeys. Oh, well — three out of four major food groups ain’t too bad. Plus, now I know what I’ll be wearing to all of my holiday parties — Heidi Klum’s “huge sparkly bow” getup from the final catwalk! Good moaning designuhs!

My Victoria’s Secret Hour-Long Commercial highlights included repeated zoom-ins on John Stamos, the laughably awkward interactions between the models and Usher, and any outfit that closely resembled a Dancing With the Stars costume — in other words, all of them. Lowlight: definitely that painful “Who Is Victoria?” segment. After five minutes of uninspired teasing from models and A-list celebs alike about who Victoria is, I resignedly arrived at the grand conclusion that nobody cares.

Who else saw the special and has already fallen off the wagon?