By Annie Barrett
Updated December 02, 2008 at 12:00 PM EST

What are you doing here? You should be compulsively refreshing the eBay auctions of seven celebrities’ self-designed boxes of Lifestyles condoms before this Friday, Dec. 5. Most of the boxes look like incredibly fun and complicated (for preschool) art projects. Let’s take a closer look at what four particular designs seem to be saying…

How would your custom-designed condom box express itself? Don’t be gross! Ha.