By Annie Barrett
Updated December 02, 2008 at 09:23 PM EST

Good Morning America, a “news show,” devoted practically its entire two hours this morning to a Big Apple Circus-based celebration of Britney Spears’ 27th birthday. The leather (kind of)-clad ringmaster who knows just just wh-wh-what you are performed “Circus” and “Womanizer,” the former of which is embedded below for your potential pleasure. I’m partial to the “spontaneous” tossing of popcorn at 1:39. And wait around for Hugh Jackman’s awkward happy-birthday serenade via satellite, plus a glimpse of the dumbest person in history, who “sold her rent money” to see Britney “sing.”

Oh and big announcement: She’s going on tour! Y’all!