By Mandi Bierly
November 25, 2008 at 04:00 PM EST

“I’ve been thinking about myself, and I think I can become the kind of person that’s worth you staying for. First of all, I’m a man who can cry. Now it’s true, it’s usually when I’ve hurt myself, but it’s a start. You see, I know there’s something that would make you stay. I know it. I know there’s some move I could make — the right word, attitude, plan — but these are all just tricks. These are all just things I would think up and try. So let’s forgo that. Let’s assume that whatever that thing is, that whatever it is that would make you stay, has occurred, that it has happened, and that my hand has already gone down your throat, and grabbed your heart, and squoze it. [Door slams in his face.] Ow.” — Harris (Steve Martin), trying to convince Sara (Victoria Tennant) not to return to England in L.A. Story. (The whole Martin-penned script is quote-worthy, but you’ll find this one at 1:06 in the clip below.)