November 12, 2008 at 12:00 PM EST

File this bit of news under the “Hollywood is creatively bankrupt” tab: Universal Pictures has greenlit a movie version of the Hasbro board game Monopoly, and three-time Oscar nominee Ridley Scott has signed on to direct it. According the Hollywood Reporter, the project will have “a futuristic sheen along the lines of [Scott’s] iconic Blade Runner.” Um, I don’t know about you, but I have no plans to pass ‘Go,’ or to head directly to my local multiplex and drop $11 to see this mess.

This, of course, will not stop me from starting a discussion about appropriate casting for the classic and indisputably important roles of The Wheelbarrow, The Thimble, The Shoe, The Terrier, The Cannon, The Top Hat, The Horse & Rider, The Car, The Battleship, The Money Sack, and The Iron. I’ll kick things off by nominating Dakota Fanning as The Thimble, and Mickey Rourke as The Shoe. Your turn!

More on related-ish topics:
Mickey Rourke’s comeback — The actor talks about his downfall and his new film, ‘The Wrestler’
Dakota Fanning: Hollywood’s most powerful actress?
Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott: EW’s extended Q&A
Dakota (and Elle) Fanning on EW’s 30 Under 30 (Actresses) List

addCredit(“Fanning: Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images; Rourke: Jemal Countess/WireImage”)

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