Credit: Fanning: Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images; Rourke: Jemal Countess/WireImage

File this bit of news under the “Hollywood is creatively bankrupt” tab: Universal Pictures has greenlit a movie version of the Hasbro board game Monopoly, and three-time Oscar nominee Ridley Scott has signed on to direct it. According the Hollywood Reporter, the project will have “a futuristic sheen along the lines of [Scott’s] iconic Blade Runner.” Um, I don’t know about you, but I have no plans to pass ‘Go,’ or to head directly to my local multiplex and drop $11 to see this mess.

This, of course, will not stop me from starting a discussion about appropriate casting for the classic and indisputably important roles of The Wheelbarrow, The Thimble, The Shoe, The Terrier, The Cannon, The Top Hat, The Horse & Rider, The Car, The Battleship, The Money Sack, and The Iron. I’ll kick things off by nominating Dakota Fanning as The Thimble, and Mickey Rourke as The Shoe. Your turn!

ul.stylized_links {

list-style-type: none;

padding-left: 0;


ul.stylized_links > li.stylized_link {

padding-bottom: 10px;


addCredit(“Fanning: Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images; Rourke: Jemal Countess/WireImage”)