By Mandi Bierly
Updated November 10, 2008 at 07:09 PM EST

The original Without a Paddle — starring Matthew Lillard, Seth Green, and Dax Shepherd — was surprisingly well-received. But I didn’t think anyone watched it and thought SEQUEL. I was wrong.

Paramount Home Entertainment has announced that Without a Paddle: Nature’s Calling — starring What a Girl Wants‘ Oliver James and…two other guys — will hit DVD and Blu-ray on Jan. 13. Per the release: “Everything that can go wrong goes hilariously wrong when two best friends and one zany Brit venture out into the wilderness in search of a high school sweetheart. On this trip, the stakes are higher, the river is wilder and the creatures are nuttier! Trying to grant a last wish to a little old lady (Ellen Albertini Dow), lawyer Ben (Oliver James) and nursing home attendant Zach (Kristopher Turner) join forces with a wacky Brit named Nigel (Rik Young) in search of the woman’s missing granddaughter whose last known address is — the wilderness. These three not-exactly-outdoorsmen demonstrate their subsistence level survival skills in a series of sidesplitting misadventures sure to have audiences camping out in front of the TV again and again.”

Even I won’t watch this movie.* Is it the most unnecessary sequel ever? If not, what is?

* Though I could be talked into screening the bonus feature Furious Nuts, a “behind the scenes look at casting the perfect squirrels for Without a Paddle: Nature’s Calling.”**

** Not sarcasm.

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