By Annie Barrett
October 23, 2008 at 08:57 PM EDT

Oh, do you, Elle editor-in-chief Anne Slowey? Should they be chillier than your heart but not as frosted as your hair? Excellent. Last night’s series premiere of The CW’s Stylista introduced us to an already-trying-too-hard-just-by-showing-up crew of young wannabe journalists whose “lifelong dream” is to become a Junior Editor. Um, some free advice: THAT IS THE WORST LIFELONG DREAM I’VE EVER HEARD. The underlings spent most of the hour fetching breakfast for Slowey (pictured), shopping at H&M so that she wouldn’t find them as heinous as she did when they wore their own, non-TV-sponsored clothes, and lolling around the fake Elle office/blatant TV set mocking each other’s appearances moments after barely being introduced. We’ve got some real winners here, like Megan, who was “given a chunk of money” to open her own boutique at 22, and Kate, who spent most of the episode in tears because no one wanted to look at her giant boobs. No, literally that’s all that happened until Sideshow Bob got eliminated for wearing a big-ass scarf but otherwise looking “boring.”

Perhaps Stylista should be called High School Yearbook instead — did anyone else start gagging at Group 2’s puke-yellow mockup of a “contributors page defining your personal style”? My colleague, Tanner Stransky, and I were so inspired by its heinoustry, we created our own page that’s even more lame and immature. Tell us which magazine you’d rather read, after the jump. WARNING: There will be jazz hands…



Look for the pink one in the next print issue of EW! Not.

What did you think of the Stylista premiere?