By Tanner Stransky
Updated October 17, 2008 at 09:57 PM EDT

Yikes! Last night was the second episode of Ugly Betty in a row to be overly serious. I want rambunctious, witty, quippy Betty back. Now! I know the show’s producers are on this big kick right now to get back to the show’s “heart,” but does that have to happen at the expense of the funny? Anyway, I still culled the best lines from the episode, titled “Betty Suarez Land,” and present them here to you. The best two of the evening — one, naturally, from Willy (Vanessa Williams) and the other from her doting assistant Marc (Michael Urie — are in the video right below. Watch it once, twice, or a zillion times, then vote in the accompanying poll. Follow the jump for a (rather short) list of the best of the rest.

“They said my eyebrow pencil could be used as a shank.” –Alexis(Rebecca Romijn), after her brother Daniel (Eric Mabius) tells her shelooks like hell in jail

“Oh, okay, private. Because the other day you had me check a mole onyour lower back, but today there are boundaries, and yay for that!”–Betty (America Fererra), after Daniel decides to be coy with detailsabout the fight he got into

“So I suppose you heard — Alexis got community service. If I’d hadknown this is how the system worked, I’d have tried to kill moreoften.” –Willy, while plotting with Marc

“If you didn’t live in Betty Suarez Land… Oh yes, you do! 25 TeddyBear Lane, Betty Suarez Land, USA.” –Gio (Freddy Rodriguez), chidingBetty for the imaginary world he claims she lives in

“Prison reality is not living up to my fantasy at all. Where is allthe scary, beefy trade?” –Marc, while accompanying Willy to jailto visit Alexis

“Don’t act so shocked, Alexis. This is what we do. This is ourthing — you screw me over, I screw you back. A whole lot of screwin’goin’ round.” –Wilhelmina, getting frank with Alexis during a visit atthe prison

“Did I say distraught? I meant hot.” –Marc, changing his mind about his and Willy’s prospects for domination at Mode and Meade Publications

Episode Recaps

Ugly Betty | ''Oh I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over your loud shirt.'' —Betty lashing out at Marc (Urie) for his constant insults, episode 3

Ugly Betty

  • TV Show
  • In Season
  • ABC
stream service