Rock Paper Scissors

If you thought Rock Paper Scissors was just a playground game, prepare to be rocked! And papered. And…scissored? Fox Sports Net will air the 3rd Annual USARPS League Championship, with the winner scoring $50,000. If you ever want to compete, follow these hand-y tips from league commissioner Matti Leshem.

1. Train Like Rocky.
”You want to keep limber because you’re constantly throwing,” says Leshem, noting that one unfit contestant tore his ACL in this year’s tourney while jumping in celebration. ”He was a true competitor. He played through the injury…[but] had he been in shape, I think he would’ve won.”

2. Know Your Opponents.
According to a study Leshem conducted, 87 percent of women use scissors on the first throw. Why? ”I think it’s fairly obvious — snip, snip.” Emasculation aside, also look for tired players to rely on rock. ”It requires less energy because it’s already formed. In this culture of slackers, there’s a lot of that.”

3. Elbow Your Way to the Top.
It may be hard to read an opponent’s face, so scan for other kinds of physical indicators. ”When you put your hand in a fist position and then go to throw paper, you sorta can’t do it without [bending] your elbow out a little. Players who aren’t very good will have that elbow tell.”

4. Rattle Rivals With Quirky Throws.
”Most people throw paper palm down, but if you throw paper palm up — which is legal — it’s called ‘Serving the Subpoena.’ It really intimidates your opponent. You’re like, ‘You’ve been served!’ Or, if you finish with scissors, turn them into a peace sign and go, ‘Peace out, bitch!’ It’s called the POB.”