'Ugly Betty' Bites: Willy, Lohan, and Regis

One of the best parts of Ugly Betty is the campy show’s hilarious, over-the-top quips from its cast of crazy characters. Remember how you almost choked on your extra-skinny latte when Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) uttered the now-classic line “Did you just gesture at me when you said Kwanzaa?” In that spirit, each week there’s a new episode of Betty, I’ll bring you a roundup of the best lines from the night before. Don’t be surprised if Willy dominates them—she dominates everything!

Here’s the really fun part: We’ll also post a quick video of my top three for a Quote Off. Check it out below, then after the jump, get the rundown of my nine favorite sound bites from last night, and head to the comments section to vote for your faves (and tell me which ones I missed!).

“Oh… my… God. Oh my God! Oh, Betty! Oh, I forgot how big andbright you are!” —Amanda (Becki Newton), after Betty (America Fererra)returns from her vacation to find Mode a cold, dark place

“I’ve been looking out for you, but you gotta look busy. Even ifyou’re doing nothing, which is one of your strengths.” —Marc (MichaelUrie), urging Amanda to get to work before Willy swoops in and gets ridof her

“Oh my, it’s back.” —Willy, upon seeing Betty return from vacation to Mode

“I was once voted the lay of the land.” —Player assistant Ginger (Kate Reinders), after Daniel (Eric Mabius) tells her to give Betty the lay of the land at her new magazine

“I said gingham, and you give me Japanese floral-garden kimonos.And dragon prints, really, Margaret? Dragon prints? After all theseyears? And thank you, Rodrigo, for the gift of white-face kabukimakeup. You really put the gay in geisha!” —Wilhelmina, chastisingher staff for their bad taste

“Like taking candy from a tranny.” —Marc, after he and Wilhelmina duped Alexis (Rebecca Romijn) into appearing on Live! With Regis & Kelly for nefarious purposes

“Oh my God, look at this! ‘Brittle and horny? Afraid your bones willcrack in the sack?’ Been there, done that!” —RegisPhilbin, while interviewing Wilhelmina and Alexis about Hot Flash, Mode’s new magazine for older women, on Live! With Regis & Kelly

“Well, I’m not a cheeseburger, so I know you’re not gonna eat me.”—Kimmie (Lindsay Lohan), after Betty threatens to hurt her forinsulting Ignacio (Tony Plana)

“She’s as reliable as she is fertile.” —Marc, about Kelly Ripa,after the host helped him and Wilhelmina carry out their plan to bringdown Hot Flash