September 19, 2008 at 11:19 PM EDT

The View

type
TV Show
Current Status
In Season
performer
Joy Behar, Star Jones, Lisa Ling, Debbie Matenopoulos, Rosie O'Donnell, Meredith Vieira, Barbara Walters
broadcaster
ABC
genre
Talk Shows

And now for your never-enjoyable-or-even-interesting View Rumor of the Month…Elisabeth Hasselbeck could be straying from the gaggle for an anchor position at Fox News. Which has us thinking: Since the current View lineup boasts the aural equivalency of a bunch of pots and pans tumbling off a wall, Hasselbeck’s potential replacement should really be some sort of item you can buy for much more than it’s worth at Williams-Sonoma. I’m thinking a large, stone mortar and pestle, to represent the uncontrollable teeth-grinding that occurs whenever I have to tune in. Having the sound effect there permanently would just make the show more true-to-life. Any other ideas?

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