Everybody Wants to Be Italian

A clarification is in order. Nobody wants to be these Italians: a pair of colorlessly attractive American singletons in Boston’s North End who don’t even claim Italian heritage. (They’re set up on a blind date by two beefy matchmakers, pals of the guy, who are under the sitcom-mistaken impression that ethnicity matters to the other party.) Everybody Wants to Be Italian‘s writer-director, Jason Todd Ipson, wants his imitation of a big, fat Italian wedding: He ladles on the character and plot-development clichés in his processed romantic comedy as thick as Ragu sauce out of a jar, and the actors follow through with performances as synthetic as pizza made with Kraft cheese. D