Oasis attacked!

This new report about the U.S. being “dangerously vulnerable” to a terrorist attack may be frightening to American citizens, but British rock stars are also wary this week after a man (identified as Daniel Sullivan from Pickering, Canada) attacked Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher at a show in Toronto on Sunday. Sullivan (also identified as drunk) burst onto the stage while the band performed “Morning Glory” and shoved Gallagher into a monitor, fracturing his ribcage and tearing some ligaments. Now, I may not be an expert, but I’ve had a brush or two myself with drunken lunacy, and I have to say, I’m a bit surprised the guy targeted Noel rather than his brother, vocalist Liam. For one, Noel is wielding a relatively heavy guitar he can use to retaliate if your inebriated shove is off the mark and leaves him on his feet — Liam simply has a mic stand. Also, Liam is the more obnoxious of the two brothers (I’ll never forget the Oasis MTV Unplugged performance when he sat in the stands pouting while the band played the set with Noel taking over vocal duties) and a more satisfying target for public humiliation, though certainly not deserving of the serious injuries Noel suffered. Turns out, Liam did a fine job of humiliating himself in the incident anyway, thanks to a video of his cowering until security fully apprehended the attacker, and only then stepping up tentatively, his fist cocked back in a “Why I oughtta” type pose. At any rate, we certainly hope Noel gets better soon and that his brother doesn’t kick him out of the band for taking time off to heal.