Stop the presses! Britney's opening the VMAs!

Wait, didn’t we know this already? Uh, apparently not. MTV put it in writing last night with the most anti-climactic “news story” (i.e. press release) ever: Britney Spears is indeed following up those hilar Russell Brand ads with an actual appearance at the VMAs this weekend. Not a performance, mind you, just some sort of mysterious non-musical (?) opening routine. I think this rules out the second and third scenarios Lisa Raphael predicted last month, but beyond that, anything could happen. Anything! And of course now that MTV has spent weeks ginning up anticipation for the show by teasing the possibility of a Britney performance, the whole world will no doubt be watching. It’s like Carson Daly says in that MTV News article: “If you want to make a big splash, what better platform than the VMAs?” So sage, that Daly. (Was he trying for a late Olympic diving pun with the “splash”/”platform” thing?)

So: What do you think Britney’s going to do on Sunday? Do you even care at this point? As a longtime apologist — Blackout was a totally solid album, people! — I know I’m rooting for her, but I’ll try not to get my hopes up too high…

addCredit(“Britney Spears: Todd Williamson/WireImage.com”)