Ask Ausiello: Spoilers on 'Grey's Anatomy,' '24,' 'Bones,' 'NCIS,' 'CSI,' 'Housewives,' and More!

Question: I just saw the new promo for Grey’s Anatomy in which Rose says she is carrying Derek’s baby. WTF? — Courtney
Ausiello: WTF is right. That promo caused quite the little firestorm over at ABC yesterday. Not only did it incur the wrath of millions of Rose-weary Mer-Der fans, but it essentially branded one of the network’s most valuable assets (i.e. Shonda Rhimes) a big ol’ liar. You see, in her ABC podcast that followed the show’s finale last May, Rhimes assured fans that Grey’s would not be employing any soap operatic stunts to pull Derek and Meredith apart this season — and she specifically ruled out knocking up Rose. But someone apparently forgot to pass that bit of information on to the folks cutting together that incendiary clip. As a result, Rhimes has been forced to do the unthinkable: Issue an exclusive statement to me that basically denies the very plot twist that ABC shamelessly tried to dangle before us. “I would not deceive our fans,” Rhimes tells me, “especially those loyal enough to listen to our podcast.” Long story short: The only thing Rose will be carrying in the season premiere is a third wheel.

Question: What’s the latest on Elisha Cuthbert returning to 24? — Dominic
Ausiello: Ladies and gentleman, we’ve got a signed contract! Sources confirm to me exclusively that Cuthbert has inked a deal to reprise her role as Jack’s lightning rod of an offspring for a season-ending arc that will no doubt trigger a new round of wholly outdated and painfully unfunny cougar jokes. Per my 24 mole, Kim will return minus her old beau (sorry, C. Thomas Howell) and plus a child! That’s right, Kim’s got a little puma all her own!

Question: Any scoop on Eli Stone? I watched the first season finale again and cried my eyes out. Again. — Joann
Ausiello: Raw emotion of any kind freaks me out, so try and pull it together long enough for me to get through this answer, K? Greg Berlanti and his fellow Stoners are casting preteen versions of Eli and Nate to appear in two pivotal flashback sequences. You’re still crying. Even though I asked you to stop. Please stop. There was nothing sad about this scoop. You’re being ridiculous. I’m not going to hug you, if that’s what you’re waiting for. I’m leaving now. Bye.

Question: Do you have any scoop on Bones? — Claire
Ausiello: Tonight’s two-hour U.K.-based season premiere is, in a word, busy.

Not only is a notable character whacked, but there’s a little partner

swappage, a not-so-little breakup, and this shocking reveal from Booth:

He tends to laugh during sex. Oh, and special guest star Indira Varma (Rome)

makes a strong case for deserving her very own TV series. Hey, Claire,

before I let you go, would you mind checking in on Joann above? I think

she might be suicidal.

Question: My arthritis is acting up. Take pity on me and give me some Bones scoop. — Holly
Ausiello: Oh, I get it. Arthritis. Bones.

Good one. Hey, if you’re at all interested, Ausiello TV is looking to

hire some new comedy writers. (Didja think the show wrote itself?)

Anyhoo, back to your Q, next week’s States-based Bones ep ends

with what I’m told is Booth and Brennan’s most revealing therapy

session with Doc Sweets yet. (And if by chance you were serious about

the arthritis thing, here’s my conscience-clearing tip for you.) One more thing about Bones before you go: If you like the David Boreanaz, then you’re going to love his answers to Mandi Bierly’s 17 pop culture questions.

Question: Is it true that Chuck has received a full season order from NBC? Please don’t leave this until Ask Ausiello. It deserves a blog post of its own! — Melanie
Ausiello: You make AA sound like some kind of sloppy-seconds dumping ground. Take it back this instant! Or don’t. Sticks and stones, you know? Anyway, yes, NBC gave Chuck the go-ahead for a full season before a single episode even aired, which pretty much confirms what I had been hearing all summer: NBC feels the show is on the verge of breaking out in a BIG way. Creatively, the network feels Chuck has hit its stride, and a new round of testing seems to back that up. “The entire cast scores high,” whispers a Peacock source. “And that’s not a common thing. Spirits are very high on that set right now.” Couldn’t happen to a nicer group of people.

Question: Do you have any Brothers & Sisters news that doesn’t involve Justin and Rebecca? — Katie
Ausiello: Finally, a place to dump this Tommy-Julia spoiler I’ve been sitting on for the past three weeks! Rumor has it their surviving twin is not out of the woods yet.

Question: Gossip Girl premiere rocked! That’s all. — Donna
Ausiello: Oh yeah? Well, next week’s ep is even better. As I’ve said, the scene in the study between Leighton Meester and Madchen Amick is worth the price of admission alone. But back to GG‘s season opener, the ratings seem to be catching up to the show’s considerable buzz; GG scored its best-ever female demos and nearly set a record for total viewers. To celebrate, here’s some exclusive Gossip: I hear someone’s going to come dangerously close to dropping out of school.

Question: Got any scoop on Ghost Whisperer? Please tell me it’s not true that Jim is dying; he’s kind of hot! — Lindsay
Ausiello: I hear you. It’s so sad when someone dies, but it’s even sadder when that person is attractive — as is certainly the case with David Conrad. Well, as I reported last week, yes, it appears Jim does kick the proverbial bucket this fall. But all you Conrad devotees can take comfort in this little scoopbit I recently uncovered: Conrad remains under contract with GW. Interpret that as you like.

Question: I am sure you are positively sick of all the questions about the possibility of a Gilmore Girls movie, but I must ask: Has there been any talk about it at all recently? — Ally
Ausiello: If I had a serious gambling problem, which I don’t (wink, wink), I’d wager my entire Smurf collection that the likelihood of a Gilmore movie hinges on how well 90210 performed last night in the ratings. See where I’m going with this?

Question: From the world of NBC, got anything on Scrubs? — Laura
Ausiello: More like the world of five months ago. News flash: Scrubs is on ABC now. (BTW, check out my column in the next issue of EW — on sale Friday — to see how not on NBC Scrubs is.) On the scoop front, I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news: A scheduling conflict forced me to back out of my return engagement in the potential series finale, shooting this week. And now the good news: They got Tom Cavanagh to replace me! Okay, so maybe replace is too strong a word. Anyone know the word for opposite of replace?

Question: Scrubs scoop. Please. — Cary
Ausiello: Bill Lawrence told me this week that there’s “at best a 50/50 chance” of the show going on beyond this season. “I see it as ending for Zach, and I see it as ending for me,” said B.L., adding that the episode that’s currently in production (you know, the one I bailed on due to scheduling conflicts) is “definitely written as a series finale.”

Question: Thoughts on the new 90210? — Emma
Ausiello: Wasn’t terrible. Wasn’t great. I’d give it a B-. BTW, did you hear who nearly got cast as the dad?! Click here for the answer. Diehard 90210ers, in particular, will get a kick out of it.

Question: CBS released some pictures from NCIS‘ Sept. 23 season premiere. Can you please give us the story behind this one of Ziva? — Melissa
Ausiello: Considering she was fired in last May’s season finale, I’m guessing she’s finding new and interesting ways to pay the bills. But what do I know? Well, for starters, I know how to pick up a phone, dial exec producer Shane Brennan’s number, and get his take on the provocative pic. “Without giving away too many secrets, the answer to why Ziva is dressed in a sexy, backless dress and singing in a smoky bar will be answered in the opening moments of the season 6 premiere, so fans won’t have to wait long to find out the ‘why’ of it,” teases Brennan. “But I can divulge one more piece of the puzzle: the ‘where’ of it. The bar is in Morocco. And did I mention that in the opening episode a member of Gibbs’ team gets blown away?” I think you did, but it bears repeating!

Question: I know it’s only been a week, but any news on the Veronica Mars movie? — Robin
Ausiello: Actually, yes! Contrary to speculation, Mars 2.0 would likely find Veronica battling crime in college rather than on the government’s payroll. “The FBI scenario was more of a ‘What if…?’ aimed at getting us a fourth season [before the show was canceled],” Mars boss Rob Thomas tells me. “I would want to bring back our key players, and it would be tough to believe that the FBI stationed Veronica in Neptune.” No arguments on this end!

Question: I’ve heard rumors that Wilson and Cameron are hooking up in the first two episodes of House this season. Is this true? — Lisa
Ausiello: Um, hello! I started those rumors. Last week. In Ask Ausiello. Am I the only one paying attention to this frakkin’ column?! (And for the record, I never said they hooked up.)

Question: Do you have any scoop on Jennifer Aniston’s appearance on 30 Rock? — Matt
Ausiello: She’s playing a ex-roommate of Liz’s that starts stalking Jack. Personally, I was hoping she was going to turn up in the episode they’re shooting later this week: It centers on Liz’s 20-year high school reunion, and it sounds like a riot. There are at least three characters — all of them former classmates of Liz’s — that would’ve been perfect for Aniston, although I’m kind of partial to Erin, the former homecoming queen that Liz used to make fun of because of the birthmark on her face.

Question: I just watched the first five episodes of True Blood. I loved it. Rich characters, a thoughtful story, and, well, vampires! I suggest you drop everything and do the same. — Dave
Ausiello: Would you believe I did exactly that over the long holiday weekend? After my hit-and-run slam in last week’s AA, I decided I should probably form an opinion based on more than just one out-of-context scene. So I popped in my (heavily encoded) HBO screener and watched the first five episodes. Straight through. Stopping only for bathroom and snack breaks. In other words, damn thing hooked me! Is it perfect? Far from it. Alan Ball drives the vampires-are-like-gay-people parallel home with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. My colleague Ken Tucker put it best in this week’s EW when he said, “Ball has never seen a comic-dramatic premise he can’t flatten with leaden metaphors.” (Truthfully, I have no idea what the heck that means, but it sounds wicked smaht.) But as a purely escapist piece of entertainment fluff? I kind of loved it.

Question: Got anything on Desperate Housewives? — Dave
Ausiello: I’m hearing something about a fatal accident in the season premiere having huge repercussions for several characters.

Question: Did you watch the screener of the CSI premiere? Thoughts? — Mary
Ausiello: I did, and I have a question: Did we know that *a***** *a* * *****? If not, big scoop!

ASKED AND UNANSWERED
In this new occasional feature-within-AA, I’ll be sharing with you some of the reader questions that, for reasons pertaining to personal security, laziness, minimal interest and/or a general lack of comprehension, I just didn’t feel like answering. Don’t make the same mistakes as these guys!

Question: Sfdsdfsdfdf? — Catharina

Question: Why, why oh why did TPTB cancel Moonlight? — Julie

Question: Here are some questions I have about the character Jeff Goldblum is going to be portraying on the upcoming season of L&O: C I. What is his character’s background? Is he a former F.B.I. profiler? Is he wealthy? Does he come from a wealthy family? Is he a by-the-books guy or a rebel with a badge type? Is he a glory and media hog or a private person? What is his character’s detective style? How does he go about solving cases? Does his character pretend to be simple-minded or dumb to trick so-called criminals into revealing how they committed a murder? Does his character have any physical and/or verbal traits or quirks? — Alex

Question: Very, very sad to hear that October Road was cancelled. It was a favorite. When will the rumored previously taped “series finale” air? Any news on cast members? Show will be missed. — Paula

That’s all for this week! Send questions/scoops/iTunes gift cards to ausielloscoop@ew.com Thanks for playing!

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