'America's Got Talent' recap: It's a buzz-and-pony show

Some of you are undoubtedly still recovering from Labor Day weekend festivities, but America’s Got Talent is back to save you from those midweek blues. Because what’s more cheerful than watching 10 people compete for a top spot in the “showbiz capital of the world”? (And no, not New York, or L.A., or even Bollywood — we’re talking Vegas. The stakes are that high, folks.) To quote Piers, “We’re not running a tea party” — to which Jerry so wittily retorted, “Last time we had a tea party, you guys lost.” In case you forgot, this show is about America!

Joining the final 20 from last week, we had Paul Salos (who I want to adopt as my grandpa), the Wright Kids, Daniel Jens, Queen Emily, and the ZOOperstars!, who the judges tragically picked over Beyond Belief Dance Co. The first act this week were the Texas State Strutters, and oddly enough they were the second act to dance to “Boogie Wonderland” in as many weeks. I hope this becomes a tradition. Unfortunately, they were buzzed by all three judges. Overall, the judges seemed a little buzz-happy last night, with Michael Strelo-Smith getting buzzed twice as well.

Then there was Bruce Block. I can’t tell who would be more offended by this act, the midget or the equestrian community, but I feel like a lot of people are going to be pissed. It didn’t help that he performed the most obvious trick in the book: fake horse goes in the box, real horse comes out. (Watch the video below.) He didn’t even spin it around to prove there were no trap doors. But who needs trap doors when you have a PONY! In another shockingly predictable moment, drag queen Shequida sang an opera version of “I Will Survive,” because no one has ever heard a transvestite sing that song before.

The first real shock of the night came with the Taubl family, whothe Hoff criticized for not having enough edge. But what says edge likea harp? Obviously taking that critique to heart, they veered from theirnormal song choice. So there I was, sitting on my futon with mytake-out, waiting to be unimpressed by another dated musical number,when what do my ears detect? It’s Rihanna’s “Umbrella.” Performed bythe modern day equivalent of the Von Trapp family. It was awesome.

The only act I ended up being somewhat disappointed with was JosephHall, the Elvis impersonator. He was cute, he had the hips, he had theleather jumpsuit, and he was competing in Vegas, the land of whitejumpsuits and pompadour haircuts. And last night he got nearlyeverything right. He had the set, the dancers, the outfit, the hair.Only one thing was missing: the voice. Sigh. Looks like I’ll have toget my Elvis kicks at the local karaoke night just like everyone else.

So what did you think of the talent tonight? Did Michael deserve all those X’s? And raise your hand if you want more ponies!