TV titles that tell it like it is

The subject of WE’s new reality series The Locator (premieres Sept. 6 at 9 p.m.)…locates people! With A&E’s The Cleaner (he gets addicts clean!) and CBS’ upcoming The Mentalist (he does…uh, mental stuff!), there’s clearly a market for overly dramatic and painfully literal show titles. May we pitch a few?

The Parker
Troubled limo driver Matt LeBlanc is recruited by the CIA because of his uncanny ability to find a convenient parking spot.

The Guesstimator
Given enough personal information, emotionally wounded actuary Annie Potts can come up with a ballpark figure as to when someone will probably die, excepting the possibility of a freak accident and so forth, and slightly affects the lives of nearly everyone she meets. In a professional capacity.

The Prescriptionist
Struggling nurse and foster mom JoBeth Williams makes ends meet by selling small quantities of Vicodin, Ambien, and extra-strength allergy medicine to responsible adults who convincingly claim to have misplaced their own prescription.

The Really Dull Stuff-Doing Guy
Ron Livingston mooches about.