Oprah won't let the Olympics die, just like us!

Us: We’re just like stars! I knew it! Join me in salivating over the new promo for Oprah’s OLYMPICS-themed season premiere (Sept. 8), at which 150 Olympians will be in da house. Where will they all sit? The gymnasts should have to balance in an awkward position on an appropriate apparatus, just sayin’.

I especially love how Oprah says “Bronze” as a one-word sentence with such admiration and authority, because bronze is damn respectable. It’s not like you or I ever won bronze. (The 50 Freestyle at the 1992 West Suburban Conference Championships doesn’t count, especially when you really got fourth but the girl who beat you got disqualified.)

The Olympics are “BAAAAAAACK, AMERICAHHHHHHHHHH.”