When Secret Life first began, we all thought that Amy losing her baby by way of abortion or adoption would mean no more show. And say what you want to about the summer hit — annoying characters: check! laughable writing and acting: check! pushy conservative Christian vibe: check! — but they’ve (at least) succeeded in developing the characters on the show to the degree that we barely need a teenage mom to keep us tuning in. Am I right, people?

And anyways, Amy’s not going anywhere. The kooky new gal on the Secret Life block is “Mimzy,” Mrs. Juergens’ brightly decorated, scarf-and-bauble-adorned mother. She storms onto the show with a nonjudgmental attitude about her pending great-grandmotherdom and starts planning Amy’s future — including her wedding to Ben and where the baby will sleep. Although an odd way to introduce her Alzheimer’s, Mimzy proves to be incapable of taking care of Amy after she suggests they keep the baby in the utensil drawer in the kitchen. So the “little complication” Amy kept mentioning in all of the promos for the show was no miscarriage, just her aborted plans to escape to Grandma’s house for the rest of her pregnancy.

While Ben’s finding out that the next step in obsession is hallucination, Amy’s BFFs Lauren and Madison are back in the show’s periphery once more. Ricky wants contact with Amy — and not the kind that got her preggers in the first place, we hope at least — so he approaches Madison for her number. Thinking that Ricky is also hitting on her, Madison and Lauren begin a silly catfight over who he’d rather do. (Answer: either/or ladies, this guy’s just horny and probably not too selective.)

addCredit(“‘Secret Life of the American Teenager’; Ron Tom”)

Ben’s friends Alice and Henry are also front and center –dating, obsessing over masturbation, and fighting. Their lover’squarrel begins when Alice reveals that she too pleasures herself. Henryequates this to her cheating on him — because she will sleep with herselfand not him, obviously. His quest to figure out who she “left-clicksthe mouse to” is adorable, but her final answer left this GenderStudies major guffawing on her couch. There’s no way Alice, our leadingfeminist lady of snark, would ever fantasize about her firstsexual experience with Henry being on their honeymoon in Paris wearing a wedding dress. She’d be all about domestic partnership — duh!

Adrian is on a quest to find her estranged father and fix all thosenasty daddy issues. Another iffy storyline is between her and hunkycounselor Marc Molina — is she really trying to seduce him, or justget what she wants? I guess the writers and producers of the show don’tthink we’ll get that she’s “sexy and spicy” unless they have hersashaying up to every male character that she speaks to. I think Adrianis a smart cookie with good intentions, and her heart really belongs toRicky. Anyone else sympathizing with her?

There is, thankfully, no camera time for the Bowman parents thisepisode, and their only mention is actually a refreshing one. Gracereveals that her wishes for Amy to have the baby are not entirelyselfish. She thinks that adoption is a great plan — because it’s herchoice, right? — and introduces Ricky to the idea by revealing thather brother was actually adopted. On the Juergens front, Mr. issleeping at his furniture warehouse and Mrs. is trying tounsuccessfully hide her failing marriage. Hopefully it’s only a matterof time before Mr. Juergens skips town. And who knows? Maybe MollyRingwald will find her acting chops in playing a single mom!

If you guys missed the show last night, save some room in your TiVo and watch full episodes online with ABC Family viewing parties. Here, you can invite friends and other fansof the show to watch and gossip with you while you watch the show. Thisis especially perfect if your roommates cringe whenever you turn theshow on (thankfully, mine are into it now). How have your householdsresponded to your Secret Life obsessions? Is this a show thatyou guys are watching with your families or are you sitting aroundgiggling and rolling your eyes with fellow high-school grads?

The Secret Life Of The American Teenager
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