The first print ad for Cycle 11 (billion) of Top Model has popped up in Vogue, so let’s tally up the most significant elements of its absurdity. (Image comes courtesy of Oh No They Didn’t via Best Week Ever; you can examine a bigger version of the spectacle, here.)

People looking at the camera: 6
People gazing in awe at different parts of Tyra, even though she definitely wasn’t at the same shoot: 3
Girls staring off into space/the giant nacho platters in their dreams: 5 (including Mr. Manuel)
Unfortunate elements of Tyra’s outfit: 2,019 (shoes count as 1000 each)
Jays: 2
Sleepers: 2
“Smiling with the eyes”: 0
Tattoos that do not appear to be airbrushed: 0
Is the first line of Emerson, Lake & Palmer’s “Karn Evil 9” stuck in my head now, for good reason? Oh hell yeah.

Any important categories I missed, P-Dubs?

Episode Recaps

Trya Banks
America's Next Top Model

Tyra Banks searches for the next great supermodel

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