Greatest American Dog
Credit: Cliff Lipson

Let me just say this: I’m not ready for Tillman, the English Bull Dog who naps as often as I’d like to, to go home just yet. I found this out last night when he, Maltese Andrew, and Parson Russell Terrier Elvis were in the bottom three, and host Jarod Miller milked the suspense before finally announcing that Elvis was eliminated. In the silence, I repeated “Not Tillman, not Tillman, not Tillman” aloud. What is this job doing to me?

Here’s what you need to know about last night’s episode:

• Elvis (pictured, with owner David) redeemed himself. Though some of the owners wouldn’t let their dogs play with an off-leash Elvis, eventually Tillman’s owner Rob gave “the Hannibal Lecter of the house” a second chance and the pooches had fun together. Elvis also made friends with Andrew, and I’ll go there: I totally thought they might start humping. I spent a good 30 seconds wondering if CBS’ Standard & Practices would have allowed that to be shown. I have half a mind to call the network and ask for a comment, but do I really need to top the time that I had to contact a rep for Talk Sex with Sue Johanson to fact-check that a caller had indeed inquired if you could get salmonella from being intimate with a raw chicken breast? No, I do not. (Unless you talk me into it in the comments section.)

After the jump, Brandy’s Best in Show moment.

addCredit(“Greatest American Dog: Cliff Lipson”)

• Everyone hates Brandy. You probably already knew this. Thewoman’s squeaky voice is worse than any dog’s bark. This week was allabout teamwork, so the Dog Bone Challenge paired the owners up and had them worktheir two dogs through a “tangled leash obstacle course” with the useof verbal commands, treats, and toys. Brandy was superpsyched that sheand Miniature Schnauzer Beacon were partnered with Golden Boy Travisand his Boxer Presley. Travis, not so much. Behold Brandy’s classicoutburst, otherwise known as her audition to replace Parker Posey in Best in Show 2:

Brandy: What is going on?!
Travis: It’s alright, just relax.
Brandy: Give me the hot dog!
Travis: Do you need it?
Brandy: Yes! Give me the hot dog! Where is the hot dog?!

Travis and Brandy won the challenge and were supposed to share the Dog Bone Suite, but Travis opted to save himselfgive her privacy and moved into Ron’s room. The winning duo chose tosend Laurie and Andrew to the Dog House, and she was not expectingthat. She did, however, earn it later when she threw David under the busfor choosing to keep Elvis on-leash during his teeter-totter leg of theBest in Show agility relay race. (That consisted of catching a Frisbee, jumpingthrough hoops, pushing a cart, walking a teeter-totter and maze,running through tubes, and dog sledding). Laurie had advised David that a goodperformance on-leash beat a bad performance off of it. She also brought upthe fact that Elvis had had a biting issue, after he appeared to haveconquered it. The judges recognized that she was playing dirty, but still sent David,who cried when he thanked Elvis for the experience, home.

• Travis and Laura are “getting to know each other.” They love each other’s dogs. And, I’m just guessing here, they also kinda like how each other looks in swimwear while swimming with those dogs. They both seem sane, so I’m still in favor of the match. You?

Greatest American Dog
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