If you weren’t a Secret Life fan before last night, then I’m guessing the first flash of Ricky’s yummy washboard abs, along with the calamity of Grace’s Christian cutting spree, got you officially hooked. The bad-ass drummer boy’s plan to be Grace’s cover (so she could keep sneaking off to see Jack) fell apart, although obviously his master plan to wrap up the blonde in his buff enough arms was just coming together.

Here’s how it played out, all under the watchful eye of a bank surveillance camera: After Ricky fell asleep at Adrian’s, Grace (Megan Park, pictured, right) was stuck waiting on a sketchy street corner, fending off a pair of drunk creeps. The good girl dropped to her knees in prayer, then broke a glass bottle and threatened the dudes with it, after which Ricky (Daren Kagasoff, pictured, left) showed up shirtless (!) thanks to his hasty exit from Adrian’s. (Whew!) Unfortunately for the kids, the security-cam footage wound up as the lead story on the local morning news, and while this plot development may have seemed slightly far-fetched, let’s keep in mind that teenage romantic shenanigans usually go awry and turn into front-page news…at least in your diary.

BottleGate kept the water-cooler buzz away from Amy’s pregnancy for a little while, although the fact that the show’s adults were buzzing about our preggo protagonist proves that either Dr. Bowman’s got some loose lips or there’s some serious grapevine action going on. That said, Ben’s dad is obviously the coolest parent on the show. He’s real, and he gets to the point (“Are you fooling around with her…is she pregnant?”). The Juergens, on the other hand, are falling apart, and it looks like Molly Ringwald’s role as a single mom might come sooner than later.

Our love affair with Ashley continuedthis week, as the tween began acting out — and giving actress India Eisley a chance to display her terrific comic timing — to keep the attention offher big sis. Nonetheless, it’s clear Amy’s going to crack any minute; I’m predicting that she tellsher big news to Ben next week, and Momma Molly the week after.

Ben should handle the news okay, given his naïve, superhero-boyfriend complex. We’re seeing that he has many shades of dopey tuckedaway in his vest-and-blazer ensembles — do 15-year-old boys actuallywear dressy clothes without their parents forcing them at gunpoint?Desperate and clingy, our sausage prince tried wooing the Juergens witha basket of meat, giving us yet another uncomfortable round of phallic salami-talk. But in a more interesting turn of events, we also got a flashback of Ben’s initial attraction to Grace, and methinks he might fall into her Christian claspat some point. Maybe during Amy’s third trimester?

Hey, it could happen. Grace is a free agent again. After her 15 minutes of local fame, she broke it off with Jack,telling him that he wasn’t a man, but alas, a child. Go girl! Of course, Ricky was there with open arms and Bible in hand,showing up at Grace’s church — just as Jack arrived with Adrian by hisside. All is fair in love and war — even using your fake significantother to infuriate your ex. At church. Indeed, in high school, everything isforeplay and fair play, even psalms and sermons.

So what will happen next with the new couples Jack/Adrian andGrace/Ricky? Will Ricky keep Adrian on the side? Do you think Benwill ever make a move on Grace? And couldn’t the Grace drama all have beenavoided if Jack dropped her off at Denny’s or something??

The Secret Life Of The American Teenager
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