I struggled all night trying to find the right words to articulate how I felt about Monday’s episode of High School Musical: Get In The Picture. So many things defied my admittedly modest skill as a wordsmith, including:

–My eye-rolling reaction to Brooke, aka “Miss Positive,” who humbly revealed to the judges that should she win this competition (prize: a role in a music video that will play over the credits of the upcoming movie High School Musical 3), she just might save the planet!!!! “I am just genuinely a nice girl. I just love everyone, I love inspiring everyone. Singing, dancing and acting is my way of conveying happiness in the world.” (Even the impossibly upbeat judges were left speechless by that one.)

–My head-shakery at host Nick Lachey, who drew upon his voluminous experience as a pop star to impart wisdom concerning the management of jittery nerves (serious entertainers should ALWAYS have them–just convert them into energizing adrenaline) and masking bad dance moves (just keep smiling; that way, the audience keeps looking at your face instead of looking “down there”) (Must… resist… tasteless… sarcastic…. comment); and who claimed that Isaiah and Sierra’s performance of “I Want It That Way” finally made him a fan of the song, because “as a member of 98 Degrees, I wasn’t allowed to like Backstreet Boys.” And the deprogramming of an ex-boybander continues…

–My joy that lovable lug Anthony, possibly the closest thing to a genuine human being on this show, was tapped to be among the 12 finalists—and my utter disgust that total Tracy Flick wannabe Bailey Purvis joined him. ‘I’m an overachiever!’ ‘I bring 1000% to everything!’ ‘I have a 4.4. GPA!’ OH SHUT UP!

Perhaps the best way to sum up my complicated reactions to these developments and more (please, fill in my blanks below) is to take a cue from my favorite “faculty member,” Montre (loved the green striped polo and purple tie), who extolled the virtues of humming, “because when you start humming, it releases the pressure of words, and you really get into it!” In that spirit, I offer these concluding thoughts:

Hmmmmmmmmmmm? HMMMMMMMMMMM! (Hmm?!)

Wow! Who knew writing could be so easy!

Still no Vanessa Hudgeons. Hmmmmm….

High School Musical: Get In the Picture
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