Bravo has picked up a Sarah Jessica Parker-produced art-competition reality show, American Artist. Contestants will compete in various styles like painting, sculpting — and, with any luck, the manipulation of food into adorable animals (pictured). We’re honestly not sure how many people will tune in to watch paint dry, but as long as casting finds the most pretentious people possible (they should try spinning around in a circle anywhere in NYC and see who they hit — oh look, it worked!), the series could be awesome.

In any case, hooray for SJP! She must have gotten the job because she totally dated installation artist Aleksandr Petrovsky on the teevee. On that note, if anything on American Artist resembles a sad woman sitting on a pedestal and not eating, I most certainly will not watch what happens — because “Sad Woman Sitting On A Pedestal, Not Eating” could, and possibly should, serve as an alternate title for about 50% of current shows. Otherwise, count me in. You too?

addCredit(“Parker: Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage”)