TV's funniest lines from July 18-24

”In Atlanta, the highway department is getting rid of signs that say ‘Men at Work’ because they’re politically incorrect. The new signs say ‘Men and Women-Who-Look-Like-Men at Work.”’
—Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”I’m not a bartender. I’m a creator of cocktails. I’m a chef for alcoholics.”
—Memphis, a self-described ”mixologist,” on Big Brother 10

”Maybe you had a seizure.”
—Jewel, to contestant Sophie, who was caught rolling her eyes at the judges’ comments, on Nashville Star

”Well, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed, but I’ve secretly preferred Mary Ann to Ginger.”
—Tom Decker (Grant Show), after his wife suggests they hit on a pretty redhead across an airport concourse, on Swingtown

”I wanna stab you, you’re so gorgeous.”
—Judge Mia Michaels, to contestant Chelsie Hightower, on So You Think You Can Dance

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