Last week, PopWatch message-board MVP Mr. FAMU theorized that Oprah was the unofficial sixth member of Team Griffin, seeing how Kathy talks about the diva of all media just as much as–or perhaps more than–her beloved Emmy. Well, Mr. FAMU, you couldn’t have been more right. Inspired by Oprah’s leadership academy in South Africa, Kathy decided to open her own school near her favorite Puerto Vallarta vacation spot. Well, she didn’t so much open a school as she renovated a library, but it was apparently enough to warrant a “Kathy Griffin Leadership Academy” sign right outside the door.

Leave it to Maggie, once again, to provide one of the best quips of the episode. “As far as Kathy becoming the red-headed Oprah, she’s so far behind right now,” Mama Griffin declared after hearing about her daughter’s lofty aspirations. Ouch. Fortunately for the niñas (and us) that didn’t dampen the comedian’s dreams. So with the promise of boyfriend Steve Wozniak’s help and a donation of four Macintosh computers (Woz, can you hook a sister up? My iBook has seen better days.), the self-dubbed “Mrs. Kathy,” along with Team Griffin and the magically materializing housekeeper Minerva, headed south of the border. After the jump, get the skinny on their three-day Extreme Makeover: Biblioteca Edition mission. (Side note: To read Nicholas Fonseca’s terrific recent profile of Kathy in the pages of Entertainment Weekly, click here; and to read Defamer’s new Q&A with the comic, in which she spills the beans about her thwarted [and hilarious] Bravo press release about her double Emmy nominations, click here.)

Day one found Woz MIA thanks to a nasty mouth infection, so Kath & Co. went by themselves to assess the situation at the middle school.All I can say is yikes! Tiles hanging precariously from the ceiling,shattered windows, a lone book shelf half-filled with books, and scorpions. To top it off, the kids didn’t seem too impressed bythe celebrity in their midst, though they did pitch in to wipe theplace clean.

After two more days of cleaning, Costco-ing, and computertraining (Woz finally arrived to save the day), the place looked downright adorable with its primary colored-rugs, backpack cubbies andbook-filled (!) shelves. The kids even warmed up to Mrs. Kathy bythe end of her visit, chanting “Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, Ra, Ra, Ra.” And then they whacked the crap out of her in piñata effigy. Oh well, suchis life on the D-list.

Oh, speaking of brutality, can we talk about Kathy’s “fried chicken” facefor a moment? As a fellow pasty lady, I live or die by SPF 70. But wasit my imagination or did the burn get even worse after Day One?C’mon, Kathy! Break out the sunscreen! This episode was almost toopainful for me to watch.

Did Kathy’s burn have you wincing, too, PopWatchers?Will next week bring moreOprah talk or Emmy banter? Will the love between Kathy and Cristian ever blossom? And do you think you could have beaten thatrugrat at a dance off? Honestly, his moves weren’t that great. Please dish.

Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List
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