After noting the words “chowder” and “pot pie” in an online description of G4’s Hurl, I had to check out last night’s premiere. The entire point of the show is to get contestants to blow chunks, then reward the lone remaining contestant (whose vomit’s still in his mouth instead of all over the set) $1000. But — and I’m dying inside a bit as I type this — this show is so utterly dumb that it’s also kind of great. The players (all male) spout off all these super-scripted lines, like “Stuff me full — do what you want to me.” (Enticing!) There’s a cheering section of honeys just chillin’ near a white brick wall. (Okay!) The announcers describe the Human Bowling Balls (pictured) as “like planets with a molten mac ‘n’ cheese core.” (I had to pinch myself!) And the extreme gross factor of visible vom didn’t affect me like it should have — by 9:30, instead of dry heaving into a couch cushion, I merely wanted mac ‘n’ cheese and pumpkin pie a lot more than I had at 9:00.
Then again, I’ve always been shamefully immune to appalling TV. And after clicking through our updated gallery of The Most Appalling Shows Ever, I’m wondering: How many of the 35 featured series have you watched, at any point, on a semi-regular basis? My tally? Um… 35. But that was for “research.” You have no excuse. Not that you need one.