The new ''Gong Show'' -- Dave Attell spills on what to expect from the Comedy Central remake

Dave Attell (Insomniac) returns to Comedy Central with a raw, rollicking new version of The Gong Show (July 17, 10 p.m.). Before you swing that mallet, here are some things he’d like you to know.

Want to be a millionaire? This ain’t the place
”We’re giving away $600, which is, like, a tank of gas, basically. I’d like to ramp up the prizes. Like the winner could win a trip to Haiti, or a kidney or liver. Maybe we can tie it to universal health care.”

Hosting ain’t pretty
”I’m ugly, so it’s all about hair and makeup. I’m trying to be more adult, but it’s weird wearing a suit and being in a studio and not a bar.”

Gonging is in the eye of the beholder
”The audience boos the acts I love. We had a guy put a corkscrew through his nose, and they were grossed out. I’m like, I want that guy to win!”

Singing and dancing are passé
”We’re staying away from the American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance acts. We’re trying to do more of, like, the girl shooting a dart out of her — ” GONG!