The Baby Borrowers

Was it a little dreary? A little tedious? Mmhmm, that’s why they call it work. Last night on Baby Borrowers, the teen parents had to juggle unfun jobs with playing house, and oh, did it blow—for them, anyway. They cried, rolled their eyes, and pitched hissy fits as far as they could throw ’em. And it all resulted in, well…nothing.

The theme of tonight’s condom crusade (Can’t you just see the little Trojans marching to repel the mighty sperm army? Protect the egg, soldiers!): Consequences? What consequences?

Let’s start with the repeat offender, Alicea. Last week she copped so much ‘tude, little Carson’s momma had to take her to the woodshed. Trying to avoid another run-in (and any semblance of responsibility for Carson), Alicea went to work while Cory stayed home with the baby. Only Ali showed up for her gig at the lumber yard looking like she rolled in from a club. Then she threw her boss a stinkeye so funky, I’d have taken off my shoe and beat her with it. Does she get fired? Nope. Does she lift a finger to help Cory when she gets home? Hardly. Is there any incentive for her to behave better? Not that I can see. As for the other couples, let’s get to them, after the jump.

For Sean and Kelsey, the motivation seems pretty clear: Oneof them has to work, or they don’t get paid. No money means no food, nohouse. So it certainly seems like self-sabotage when Kelsey pouts inthe bathroom for so long that Sean feels compelled to stay with babyEtta. But really, are we supposed to believe that NBC would let theirunderage “parents”—much less the babies—starve, or somehow default ontheir ersatz “rent?” Whatever. The point becomes moot by day 2, asKelsey packs herself off for a shift at a drive-through diner. So bigdeal, they’ll earn half-pay and buy generic Cheerios.

And what about the skater daters, Morgan and Daton? Actually, whatabout them? There is no less interesting couple than these twosunspots. Their biggest concern is whether they’ll still be together ayear or two from now. (Hint: no.) It’s not surprising that they’relargely checked-out, since they only went on the show to test theirrelationship. Judging by how desperately Daton wanted to ditch Morganto go skate, my question is: What relationship?

Which brings us to the couples who did well: Sasha and Jordan (who weresuch chill parents, they barely popped up last night) and Kelly (pictured) andAustin. Finally, we ran into some consequences! Only they were thetroubling unintended kind, like what happens when a teenage girl is sogood at playing house that she wants to get knocked up immediately?Like what happens when a social experiment induces the subject tomisbehave? Like what happens when a well-meaning boyfriend has to callin the Magnum infantry, because his girl’s got ideas? To think, justlast week she was Pregnancy-Belly Kelly who couldn’t leave fast enough.

What do you think? Is Kelly on a stretch of bad road? Why did onlyhe girls’ moms visit? Is anyone learning anything? Ooh, and be sure tocome back next week—one of the faux-mommies loses her mind.

The Baby Borrowers
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