I’m intrigued and more than a little envious over the reports that Paramount has bought for J.J. Abrams (pictured) the film rights to a New York Times article that appeared in print just four days earlier, the story of a family whose renovation of a luxurious Fifth Avenue apartment turned into a scavenger hunt full of secret compartments and mysterious clues. Now, I haven’t reported on anything like that in PopWatch recently, but if I did, do you think I could get Abrams to option my blog post? What could I cover that would be up his alley? Let’s see, what if I did a where-are-they-now on the stars of Small Wonder? What if I’d learned that the little robot girl was actually played by a robot? And what if she’d grown up* to become a spy? A female cyborg spy, whose biggest puzzle is the riddle of her own identity — who created her? What was the master plan behind her creation, and how did that crappy syndicated ’80s sitcom fit in? Okay, none of this is actually, you know, true, but a story like that would be right up the Alias/Lost/Fringe guru’s alley, wouldn’t it? I’ll be waiting by the phone for your call, J.J.

*Yeah, I know, robots don’t hit puberty and grow up, but work with me here.

addCredit(“J.J. Abrams: Brad Barket/Getty Images”)

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