The 10 hottest topics for the week of June 20, 2008

1 For his 50th birthday, Prince walks down Hollywood Boulevard without security
Apparently, he wanted to spend his big day getting jumped by a drunk guy in a Superman outfit.

2 Vin Diesel becomes a father
Sadly, the baby was rumored to open much bigger than it actually did.

3 Snoop Dogg to Jay-Z and Beyoncé: ”Go home and make babies”
That’s actually the first commandment in the Snoop Testament, Book of Dogg, Chapter Shizzle.

4 Self-proclaimed ”terrible driver” Pam Anderson sells her Dodge Viper for PETA
”Seriously, I kill, like, 10 chinchillas a day with this thing,” she admitted. ”They run right out in front of you!”

5 Nicole Richie, Joel Madden photographed with Barney the dinosaur
Bad sign: Barney’s a Viper Room mainstay.

6 Reality show pranks Chris Rock into thinking he’s accused of having sex with a British minor
Hilarious! If the show’s a success, it may spawn a spin-off, Telling Celebrities Their Loved Ones Are Dead.

7 Mexican officials remove naked soap star from tourism ads
Mexico, I beg of you: Let Susan Lucci have this. She’s on a streak.

8 New AC/DC album to be sold exclusively at Wal-Mart
As part of the promotion, band members will also greet you at the door in blue leather vests.

9 VH1 reality show Scream Queens will look for next horror star
Eventually, this show will merge with American Idol, thereby satisfying the twin American urges for bloodlust and melisma.

10 R. Kelly defense lawyer speeds through courthouse on a scooter
”Gotta scoot! Can’t miss The Mole!” he called out — then stopped and asked jurors if they got the joke.

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