You'll laugh so hard you'll cry with appearances by Michael Bolton and Kevin Federline

Remember The Onion Movie? The one announced in 2003 penned by staffers from the infamous satirical newspaper? At last, it’s here as a direct-to-DVD release. We peeled back the layers and found five celeb cameos that bring a tear to the eye.

Michael Bolton
He’s the Sally Struthers in a commercial for the What About the Children Foundation that raises an interesting question: What happens if Dibo is sponsored, but the other kids in his village aren’t?

Kevin Federline
During a special report in which pop star Melissa Cherry explains the nonsexual meanings of her songs like ”Take Me From Behind,” Britney’s ex dances in the video for Cherry’s hit ”Lollipop Love.”

Steven Seagal
The Onion News wants its anchorman to lead with a story about Seagal’s action film C—puncher, instead of news on Sloravia pulling out of Uzbagiyak. Based on the trailer, we’d totally watch C—puncher on cable.

Daniel Dae Kim
The Lost star pops up in a sketch about a coed group of friends who, bored with their standard murder-mystery party, opt for a new role-playing whodunit: ”How to Host a Rape.”

Meredith Baxter
In one of the movie’s self-reflective moments, we see two clips that didn’t make the film. One involves Baxter deep-frying a kitten. (The other involves a nun drinking something we can’t print.)