My current nominee for the four most annoying words in the English language: “Dramatization: Do not attempt.”

Yeah, yeah, I’m sure there’s some very important legal reason Quiznos needed to slap said disclaimer on its new ad showing the old woman at the laundromat devouring a five-dollar bill, but if someone is actually dumb enough to attempt such a shenanigan at home, doesn’t he or she deserve a few troubling digestive side-effects?

Similarly, do we as a society need to protect LG buyers who run over their outdated washing machines with steamrollers? (“But the pretty lady in the ad made it look so easy!”) And I know Dennis Haysbert has a really commanding speaking voice, but I don’t think it should be grounds for a lawsuit if some loony watches dude’s Allstate “People, Not Drivers” spot and gets the idea to hook up her treadmill in the middle of a freeway overpass. (Where would she plug it in, anyway?)

Come on, PopWatchers, tell me I’m not the only one who gets a little overdramatic about the prevalence of “dramatization” disclaimers in today’s ads. Next thing you know Geico’s going to have to hold a press conference to announce that the gecko’s not really talking.