The 10 hottest topics for the week of May 16, 2008

1 Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds engaged
Let me be the first to congratulate them on their new life as ”Screynolds.”

2 Two-disc special edition of Twister now available
We’ll finally know ”how they did that” with the flying cow!

3 Elisabeth Hasselbeck says her ”bubble butt” is ”what powers me forward when I run”
Far from hiding it, she’s promoting it as a powerful alternative energy source.

4 Gretchen Wilson finishes high school
Well, let me just get you some chardonnay and Brie to go with that fancy-schmancy high school diploma!

5 Cristián de la Fuente will have to undergo surgery for injury suffered on Dancing With the Stars
Now PETA’s after Cheryl Burke for pushing him past his limits.

6 Dr. Phil thinks he is ”flexible as a rubber hose”
I’ll believe it only after I’ve run over Dr. Phil hundreds of times in my driveway and he’s still spouting.

7 Newsweek critics split on whether Seinfeld is still funny
But they’re united on another point: Small Wonder holds up.

8 James Frey’s new book includes character based on Perez Hilton
Well, that explains it. Perez Hilton seems just unbelievable enough to have been made up by James Frey.

9 Source on Brad and Angelina’s European vacation activities: ”They’re doing everything you and I might be doing”
Oh, so they’re reading about their European vacation activities in a haze of vague envy and distinctly modern despair.

10 Barbara Walters reveals affair with Massachusetts senator that almost ended her career
She’s not out of the woods yet: John Kerry keeps making those Droopy eyes at her. Fight it, Babs.

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