If it were produced today, the flagrantly absurd Mannequin (1987) would likely be found on the Lifetime Movie Network: While dreamy artist Jonathan (a post-Pretty in Pink, pre-Weekend at Bernie’s Andrew McCarthy) is dressing windows at Philadelphia’s grand but financially shaky Prince & Co., he cozies up to a mannequin he built in a previous gig making department-store dummies. When ”Emmy” inexplicably pulls a Pinocchio (becoming Kim Cattrall — dolled up like Sex and the City‘s Samantha, if she shopped at Merry-Go-Round), the pair take to doing displays together, which saves the store from the wrecking ball. Cue their nuptials — in a Prince & Co. window, natch — while Starship’s power ballad ”Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” plays us to the credits. The stick-thin story takes a backseat to a bevy of now-hilarious ’80s clichés: a fashionable rock-video montage that nods to Miami Vice and Tina Turner; a synth-pop soundtrack featuring the likes of Belinda Carlisle and Alisha; and a swishy designer pal, Hollywood (Designing Women‘s Meshach Taylor). B-

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