ABC’s summer lineup may look like a joke… but apparently, it isn’t. You’ve got The Bachelorette (with DeAnna Pappas, pictured) bowing May 19 with a two-hour premiere. And then itwill stay two hours. WHAT?

The Mole returns May 26, but we can’t even deal with that because of what launches on June 24: the one-two punch of Wipeout and I Survived A Japanese Game Show. Per Variety, the latter involves Americans being flown to Japan to compete in one of the country’s someone’s-getting-hit-in-the-nuts shows. I guess it was cheaper to fly contestants there than build their own line of spinning logs? A real-life MXC sounds fun on paper, but I don’t know if the magic will translate.

The network is currently casting for the homegrown sister competition series, Wipeout. Allow me to quote from the press release:

I’m up for watching face-plants (I have no shame), but who’s up for performing them?

addCredit(“Cannon: Yves Logghe/AP”)