We’ve already seen popular ad campaigns (Geico’s Cavemen) give birth to woeful TV sitcoms, so I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that a ubiquitous advertising slogan appears to have spawned a big-budget feature film. Still, if the trailer for What Happens in Vegas is any indication, it’s time to slap a toe-tag on the Hollywood romantic comedy, and send it down to the basement for cold storage.

Seriously, some insane producer thinks I’m going to shell out $11 to see Ashton Kutcher urinating into a kitchen sink? And, of course, for that price, I’ll have to buy that after two hours of huffing and snarling, Cameron Diaz’s uptight harpie will realize the Neanderthal who shoves his hands down his pants before reaching into the popcorn bowl is the man of her dreams? I could write another paragraph wondering possessed Queen Latifah to continue wasting her Oscar-nominated talents in yet another low-rent production, but I’ve decided it’s time I channeled my rage into a more productive enterprise. And you can help, after the jump.

Let’s all band together and brainstorm the perfect romantic comedy, right here, right now! Here’s how we’ll do it: I’ll write the first sentence of our pitch, and then all of you have to continue the brainstorming session — contributing one sentence and one sentence only! — in the comments section below, building off your fellow PopWatchers’ comments. It may be a hot mess by the time we’re done, but I’m willing to bet it won’t be any worse than What Happens in Vegas. So without further ado…

Brenda Patchett, a mildly cranky 33-year-old singleton working in the admissions office of a small, liberal arts college in Seattle, gets mowed down by a bike messenger on her way to work, and breaks her ankle

Take it away, PopWatchers!