Scott Brown's Hit List
1 James Gandolfini to play mayor of New York City in upcoming movie
Preproduction work on a convincingly mayoral comb-over has already begun.
2 Tori Spelling wants to be part of The CW’s 90210 remake
”Seriously,” she panted, ”throw me down any staircase you like.”
3 Fred Thompson may return to movies
In a brief statement, Thompson said, ”I think I would be the best president during a giant, radioactive space-dinosaur attack.”
4 Jamie Lee Curtis poses topless in AARP magazine
Does this mean I can finally delete ‘Trading Places’ from my TiVo?
5 Miley Cyrus dedicates Web video to Jesus
And Jesus, a huge fan of ”Lazy Sunday,” says He’ll peek at it over lunch, when ”the boss” is off His back.
6 Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee spend Easter together
It’s a time for renewal, rebirth, and — probably by Pentecost — re-divorce.
7 Pregnant Minnie Driver confesses: ”I dream about enormous olives”
According to Jung, this usually means the father is either a bartender or a Greek shipping magnate.
8 Fed up after noisy Transformers explosions, activists residing in Los Angeles seek to curb downtown filmmaking
But the studios now complain that a restrictive ”No Sucking” ordinance would halt most productions.
9 Horse tries to ride hospital elevator in Hawaii
Yes, it was that horse from Lost. And yes, it was drunk.
10 At his 30th-birthday celebration in Las Vegas, Kevin Federline and his friends smear cake on each other
Because that’s what dudes do, all right?
For all the latest headlines, pictures, and ridiculous Hollywood miscellany, visit popwatch.ew.com