Attention all loners, writer Gretchen Hansen is currently searching for a new “BFF.” Just yesterday she announced plans to launch (a website where potential candidates can submit qualifications and complete friendship compatibility surveys.) Hansen denies accusations that the concept was stolen directly from Paris Hilton, whose upcoming MTV reality show will feature 20 finalists competing to be named the socialite’s ”best friend forever.”

“If there are similarities, it’s just a coincidence,” says Hansen. “I mean, Paris is turning companionship into some kind of farce. Friendships are supposed to be meaningful and real and that’s why I won’t do a reality show until after I pick the first-place winner of my friendship.”

What is Hansen looking for in a friend?

“Well, that’s where Paris and I are different. Paris claims to want someone she can trust; someone who won’t stab her back or ditch her when times are rough. I’m just looking for someone attractive to hang with so I can get into more bars. I guess I’m seeking someone good looking, but not as good looking as me. And someone to straighten my hair before we go out. Kind of like a servant, just prettier and friendlier. Yeah.”

Would she consider being Hilton’s “bestie”?

“Maybe. People these days are looking for love and camaraderie in all the wrong places. At least Paris and I are smart enough to know the best places to start: TV and the Internet.”