I know that it was more than a week ago that Simon Cowell referred to “I Drove All Night” as “just not a great song” after Carly Smithson nailed it, but it’s still bugging me. Do you have to be a woman to love this track?

It was written by two men, who took it to Roy Orbison first, but Cyndi Lauper’s version has become one of the great odes to female sexual empowerment. (As opposed to Celine Dion’s sterile cover.) Maybe that’s all men can hear now. Simon’s comment got me wondering: are there songs that only one sex will “get”?

And which cut of “I Drove all Night” is best? You’ll have to write-in Celine’s, because your official ballot only includes:

Cyndi Lauper’s

Roy Orbison’s (hello, Jason Priestley and Jennifer Connelly!)