March 11, 2008 at 02:00 PM EDT

Chuck Norris doesn’t peer over brick walls; he crumbles them to pieces with the split ends of his ‘stache. The s—kicking cloud of Internet hype that’s been surrounding Chuck Norris for a few years has evidently reached the U.S. military in Iraq. The troops consider him a cult figure (duh?) and, according to a very important Reuters report, “comments lauding themanliness and virility of the actor have been left on toiletwalls across Iraq and even in neighboring Kuwait.” One such message, my favorite and also the most terrifying, is “Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.” Oh dear. Welcome to late 2005!

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