The 10 hottest topics for the week of March 7, 2008

1 Mike Tyson wants Jamie Foxx to play him in biopic
Foxx is one of two stars in Hollywood who does a ”Tyson falsetto”; the other is Kristin Chenoweth, who’s fighting hard for the role.

2 Julie Christie calls for closure of Guantánamo Bay
”Okay,” said the Pentagon, adding: ”We love her work.”

3 Celebrities exposed to hepatitis A at chic Manhattan hot spot
Soon, everyone will want it!

4 Diddy to pursue acting ”with 100 percent focus”
Recalling the time he focused on rapping 100 percent, Diddy will ”remix” another Sting masterpiece: his performance in Dune.

5 The Black Crowes blast Maxim for reviewing album without hearing all of it
I’m going to take it upon myself to review the next four Black Crowes albums right here: ”Fine,” ”Starbucksable,” ”Was that a theremin?” and ”The last song’s totally about Kate Hudson.”

6 Fire destroys hotel owned by romance novelist Nora Roberts
Police are looking for a strapping man in a ripped shirt, whose love set her world ablaze.

7 Valerie Bertinelli talks to Oprah about dating Steven Spielberg in 1980
She called the relationship ”fine,” but wishes he’d go back and digitally remaster it.

8 NBC exec says upcoming Robinson Crusoe series is ”part MacGyver…part Cast Away-meets-Survivor
He also optioned a CSI-ish Sherlock Holmes series and the Star Wars-esque New Testament.

9 Parents Television Council critiques streaker scene in Las Vegas, saying ”buttocks are visible.”
”And buttocks are great,” said the council, ”but we’re more of a ‘breast council.”’

10 Gary Busey reliably bonkers
Anyone who deplores Oscar’s lack of spontaneity has found the show’s next host.

For all the latest headlines, pictures, and ridiculous Hollywood miscellany, visit