By Annie Barrett
Updated July 30, 2020 at 12:40 PM EDT

It absolutely pains me to face a new Dancing With the Stars season without Maksim Chmerkovskiy, beefy lover of self, on board. But then I consider the great potential for a new Maks-centric series (now that he’s a free agent), and I slowly push the high-end vodka bottle to the edge of my cube. Possible titles include:

One White Russian, Please
Egomania! (this could also be a good board game) (Oh my God, it already is)
“Pay Attention,” Spoken With a Russian Accent
You’re Not Doing That Right
Martha Stewart Should Have Bought ME
Grab Your Cape
Let’s Clench Our Butt With Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Those last two were inspired by the Paso Doble section of my favorite exercise tape, Dancing With the Stars Cardio Dance on DVD. Here’s a glimpse of Maks putting his expertise — butt clenching and Always Being In Charge — to good use:

He’s such a tease at the end there. I’ve found it’s best to imagine a small boy marching alongside the exercisers and playing the fife during this clip. Anyway, who wants to work out with Maks (and Ashly, and Kym, and me)? And what should Maks’ new show be, besides the weekly DWTS recap video he should obviously be lunging at the chance to host?

Episode Recaps


Dancing With the Stars

  • TV Show
  • 28
  • ABC