Welcome to The Real World/Road Rules Challenge 3,456 (or, if we’re getting technical: The Gauntlet III). But seriously, did you all realize this was the 16th challenge season? I certainly didn’t. And what’s even worse is that I think Beth has pretty much been on all of them by now. Can she just take a clue from Timmy and retire already? Or at least get a new haircut? Or maybe even a facial?

At the beginning of the new hour-long (oohh, ahhhh) slot for The Gauntlet III (okay, from now on I’m calling it G3, it’s much easier to type!), Denver RWer Alex said, “It’s really cool to meet some of these people because as crazy as they look on TV, they are twice as nuts in real life,” and though I’m sad to say Alex got booted from the show first, he was definitely onto something: these MTV reality “stars” are insane.

But before I get any further into their insanity, let’s clear some things up. So there’s a Veterans team and a Rookies team who are competing for a final cash prize of $300,000. The Rookies are made of up people who have been on one challenge or less. The Veterans are made up of people who include alcohol, drama, and sex among the main food groups. The winning team of each challenge now has to vote on one member of the losing team to go to the gauntlet and one member who gets immunity. And finally (are you still with me?), the losing team will then vote in a member to verse their already voted in member in the gauntlet. Yeah, say that sentence three times fast.

Once the premiere was over, I was left with oh-so-many questions, so instead of trying to answer them myself, I thought I’d ask you guys, as you are, hopefully, much more in tune with the crazy antics of G3 than I am:

  • First, isn’t it little odd that there are seven — count ’em, seven! — cast members from the Fresh Meat challenge season, none of whom ever lived in a RW house or rode on a Winnebago? Can these people even truly call themselves humans?
  • Where the heck is challenge fave and fight instigator Wes? The rest of his cast (er, except for Lacey, but she didn’t really count in Austin either) is in Puerto Vallarta, why isn’t he?
  • Was the whole give-the-tug-o-war-losers-terrible-and-unsanitary-living-quarters a nod to The Apprenticeseason in LA, when losing teams had to sleep outside in tents? Or wasit just a sad attempt by the Bunim/Murray people to save money?
  • Who the heck is Jillian?
  • Did you laugh out loud when Angel called Coral (second from right) “the Devil,” too?
  • Does Diem make sense when she gushes about CT? For example, shesaid, “I’m really happy and lucky that [CT and I] are on the same teambecause we’re both really competitive and I know that he’ll keep me incheck and he’ll vote my butt off just as fast as I’ll vote his.” Soshe’s happy her boyfriend would vote her off? Solid relationship there, Diem.
  • Is the gauntlet sculpture-building thingie supposed to resemble a dinosaur skeleton, or am I just seeing things?
  • Must the gauntlet wheel-o-death make that noise that resembles those neon things we all use to put on our bike spokes?
  • How much money would you all be willing to bet that TJ Lavin has hooked up with at least three of the female cast members?
  • If Coral is too old to have CT yelling at her like she claims, isn’t she, then, too old to be doing these silly challenges?
  • Did two girls and two boys really make out on the very first night? Should I not be shocked by this?
  • Finally, who had the better remark about females having a certain male organ? Brooke (pictured, second from left: “Theidea of laying in bed with a man right now makes my stomach nauseous.Am I innately attracted to women? No… I need like an actual d–k, butI don’t want to deal with the person attached to it. If I could find agirl with a d–k that would be perfect.”) or Coral (to Evelyn, pictured at right:”I don’t care how strong you are or how much you bench press or thatthere’s a big rumor that you have a penis, I will f— you up.”)?

Tell me, PopWatchers, what questions did the first night of G3 leave you with? And who are you betting will be left on the winning team?