Stupid questions for Ice Cube
The rapper/actor/producer stars in new comedy ''First Sunday'' as a dude who tries to rob a church. In that unholy spirit, we caught up with him to ask some dope -- well, OK, dopey -- questions
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: I know I’m allowed to call you Cube, but what happens to me if I call you Ice?
ICE CUBE: I would know you was white.
You’ve now made movies called Friday, Next Friday, Friday After Next, and First Sunday. Looking at the other five days of the week, which one seems to have the most comedic potential?
Since I already picked Friday and Sunday, Saturday is the next move. It’s one of the best days of the week. [Pause] But Monday morning is funny too. No one wants to come in, everybody’s a little grumpy, hangovers — you know, the weekend takes its toll.
You helped launch the career of Chris Tucker with Friday. Is he grateful enough? Does he swing by weekly to kiss the Cube ring?
Nah, he’s not grateful enough. He needs to break me off some of that money. He can keep the kiss — I’ll take 10 percent.
Nia Long — who starred with you in Are We There Yet? and with Jude Law in Alfie — told an interviewer, ”Hands down, Cube is the better kisser. His lips are softer, fuller.” Shall we call Jude right now and rub it in?
[Scoffs] Jude Law know what time it is. You ain’t telling him nothing he don’t know already.
Wow. What else do you have over Jude?
Better actor. Better rapper. Look better. He’s got that little English thing going on, that’s about it.
Question about Anaconda: Did you know? You kinda had to, didn’t you?
Yeah, I knew it was going to be this cheesy thing, but what I liked about it was that I had a chance to kill the snake, which was, like, a first in Hollywood — for a black man to kill the creature instead of getting eaten first. I felt that was a breakthrough.
When your XXX: State of the Union costar Samuel L. Jackson was shooting Snakes on a Plane, did you call him up and say, ”Step off! I was here first!”?
He got a lot of momentum off that, so I was a little jealous. As long as he don’t do a Saturday movie, or Monday Morning, we should be straight.
Which is more likely to make Ice Cube melt: a puppy playing with a baby duck, or global warming?
Global warming. The rich people need to cut it out.
Okay, but would you turn at least somewhat cuddly if you did witness a puppy playing with a baby duck?
My momma always told me, ”If you play with a puppy, it’ll lick you in the mouth and bite you on the lip.” So I keep my cuddliness for puppies in check.
What’s one thing you’ve always wondered about yourself but were too scared to ask?
How would I react during a bank robbery?
And what do you think?
You know, calm, cool, collected. Take the bank robber down, be on the news, shoot him in the ass — all that good stuff.
The first track on your latest album, Laugh Now, Cry Later, is ”Definition of a West Coast G.” As it turns out, I live in Santa Monica. Am I already halfway there and don’t even realize it?
Well, you definitely West Coast. Probably got to work on the G part.
Move to South Central for a few years, you’ll have it down.
Yeah… I don’t think that’s going to work for me. Anything a little faster?
Buy my record.