By Alynda Wheat
Updated January 15, 2008 at 07:45 PM EST

I had my fingers crossed for you, PopWatchers. Last week some of y’all were a tad spazzed about an incident we’ll refer to as The Boy in the Box. Gruesome it was, so I’d hoped this week would be better, that there’d be nothing deeply objectionable involving children or violence or sex—nothing like, say, a barely pubescent girl getting dream-raped by a freak playing a twisted version of Bad Cop. But clearly, I don’t run nothin’.

Maybe Medium is trying to work out some, forgive the expression, kinks (this is, after all, the network that gave us 14,572 iterations of Dateline’s To Catch a Predator). Or maybe this is what the show figures it has to do to keep up with the likes of Criminal Minds and Law & Order: SVU. Whatev. All I’m saying is that it looks like we’re in for a seriously dark season 4, so get your minds right.

So what happened, exactly? (Sorry class, have to give the latecomersa chance to catch up.) While Allison was having her usual Dreams ofRandom Exposition, Ariel had a few dreams of her own (no, there’s noBridgette or Marie in this episode—sometimes they exist, sometimes theydon’t—anyway, pay attention). Ariel’s dreams were way more interesting,though, as they cast her as a girl named Casey, who just happened to beBFF with a blonde named Allison—yeah, Ariel dreamt about the Pretty in Pinkversion of her own mother. (No, this Young Allison was a differentactress than the previous Young Allison. No, I don’t know why. Stopasking questions!) Anyway, thanks to the dream, Ariel snuck off to meetsome boy we’ll never see again, got caught, had her own Dream of RandomExposition about the evil cop, and eventually got him thrown injail—thankfully before he could kill his next victim.

I’m glossing over, here. Sure, we saw the cop’s attack on Allison’sfriend coming from a mile away, but it was still awful. Give it to the Mediumwriters for getting us to feel the same stomach-sinking panic Arielfelt—like we, too, were stuck in a nightmare from which we couldn’tawake. Worst moment of the night.

Second worst moment: Realizing that Cynthia Keener (a.k.a. MaerosePrizzi, a.k.a. Baroness Rodmilla de Ghent, a.k.a.Anjelica Huston) might just be a raging, selfish rhymes-with-itch. WhenAllison explained that it might be more helpful if she actually,y’know, came along to interview people for cases, Cynthia sniped, “Thatwould seem to rather defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it? I mean, this issupposed to be about me, not you.” Actually, Cyn, it’s supposed to beabout the victims, but I can see how you’d get confused. As if thatweren’t enough, the –itch hung up on Allison, then swanned up to herfront door to fire her.

See, this is why they don’t let me out into polite society—I’d havesmacked her. And while I was at it, Ariel, too, for calling her mom aliar during her I’m-sorry-I-got-busted-not-sorry-I-did-it hissy fit. (Sigh…I’m still learning to use my words.)

Then again, maybe Ariel’s had enough. Maybe now she’ll know not tomouth off, sneak out to see boys, or take unauthorized trips onmunicipal transit. And she damn sure better stop sleep-snooping in hermama’s bidness. For one thing, we got enough of that weirdness in Dreamscape, and have no desire toreturn (cute Dennis Quaid or no). But more importantly, where’s thefun in screwing up, goofing off, and generally having a naughty pastif, in the end, you’re just gonna end up with psychic kids?

What about you, PopWatchers–Medium getting to be too much for you?