Have you ever sustained an injury while entertaining yourself? Here’s why I’m asking:
I work in New York City and — to quote one of my family’s favorite movies, Grumpy Old Men — it’s colder than a witch’s titty. Occassionally, when the temperature drops this low, I get a faint ache in my left ankle. It’s then that I remember the night several years ago that I went to the Miss America pageant in Atlantic City. I was with a large group of people celebrating my friend Shawn’s birthday — and kicking his ass in our pageant pool. (I came in second. Shawn’s then-boyfriend, Ron, finished first and got to wear a sash. I was jealous. It’s all so vivid, it’s like it happened yesterday.) After the pageant, the group went to a karaoke bar. I was in my “Stand By Your Man” phase, and considering the company I was in, my cover of the Tammy Wynette (pictured) classic killed. Feeling great, I went to leave the tiny stage, and somehow missed the one step down. I fell on my left ankle, and suffered what I fear is the world’s first karaoke injury. Please tell me that I’m wrong. Or that you’re living with some other entertainment-induced injury that is equally (or more!) mortifying.
addCredit(“Tammy Wynette: Andrew Putler/Redferns/Retna”)