The Little Mermaid
Credit: Sebastian: Everett Collection; Crab: Wilfredo Lee/AP; Lobster: Pat Wellenbach/AP

What’s the stupidest pop culture-related fight you’ve ever had? I don’t mean over something subjective — like, was Wings a good show? — I mean something factual (like, when my sister left me an inebriated message a few years back asking me to please settle an argument that she was having over the name of Suzanne Sugarbaker’s pig, Noel). Here’s why I’m asking this question now: Earlier this week, Annie Barrett and I were telling EW’s Jason Adams that we were going to catch a preview performance of Broadway’s The Little Mermaid.

Somehow, the two of them ended up debating whether Sebastian was a crab (Annie’s vote) or a lobster (Jason’s). After Annie hurled a somewhat poorly-planned insult (“You’re a lobster”), they made me do a Google search. Now, this is where things got really stupid. As Annie approached my desk to look at my computer screen, Jason, who’d gone to the same basketball camp as Annie as a child, boxed her out. Annie then announced that she was doing a “reverse pivot,” and worked her way past Jason just in time to see me pull up an official Disney FAQ confirming that she was correct. (Jason accepted his defeat, but noted that Sebastian is a professional actor, so for all we know, he’s actually a lobster playing a crab.)

Yes, that fight ranks right up there with the time that I watched EW’s resident Journey expert Missy Schwartz school Adam Markovitz after she heard him (falsely) claim that Steve Perry’s speaking voice was as high as Nicolas Cage’s in Peggy Sue Got Married. (Missy knew exactly which vintage interview clip on YouTube would prove that Perry’s voice is, in fact, “perfectly virile.”)

Your turn. Confess your stupidest arguments — and to what lengths you went to resolve them…

addCredit(“Sebastian: Everett Collection; Crab: Wilfredo Lee/AP; Lobster: Pat Wellenbach/AP”)