Credit: Cougar: Lisa Poole/AP

What? DANCMSTR Len Goodman calls Marie Osmond a cougar all the time! Only now do I see the resemblance. If you’re up to date on Dancing With the Stars, you know that she of the massive fan base will likely win season 5. And if you’re not up to date, check out today’s Take 5 video, in which I give out prestigious awards like “Strangest Motivational Segment” (Richard Simmons) and “Most Bizarre Song/Dance Pairing” (the Superman paso doble, obvs) to relive its most memorable moments.

Last time I checked, the questionably existent “point” of DWTS is that the best ballroom-dancing celebrity should win what Tom Bergeron modestly labels “a splendid mirrorball trophy.” True, the best dancer of each season has not always won, but… Marie Osmond? Really? I can’t believe I’m writing this, but tonight I’m actually going to vote. Mel or Helio for the win, people!

Ha! Is anyone still reading? You should have stopped as soon as I said there might be a point to Dancing With the Stars. Anyway, will Marie’s impending victory turn you off to the show for good? And since my TV Watch won’t go up until at least 7 a.m., what did you think of the performance finale? How awesome was that one dance by that one contestant? I know! For real!

addCredit(“Cougar: Lisa Poole/AP”)

Episode Recaps


Dancing With the Stars

  • TV Show
  • 29
  • ABC